


Amo te, tata

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-04
Updated: 2011-10-04
Packaged: 2018-09-03 03:49:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8695264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: I were never really yours and you never uttered the words for all it was worth. Both of us knew the truth but right at the moment, as I sit in the woods and smell the air of early morning and burnt flesh and ash, I think I should’ve told you before this happened.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Hope you'd enjoy! And please R &R since that's what keeps me going ;)

I’m not perfect, but you never claimed I was either. I've never really been yours and you never uttered the words for all it was worth. Both of us knew the truth but right at the moment, as I sit in the woods and smell the air of early morning and burnt flesh and ash, I think I should’ve told you before this happened.

 

I've known since I were a kid, since I realized just how dangerous your job were, I knew this would come sooner than later and I should’ve told you then, just how much it pained me to know. But as I see your body disappear from the flames of fire, I take a deep breath and yeah, I know that you knew.

 

You cared in your own fucked up way and I couldn’t stand it, couldn’t really understand you, but as I sit here, smelling death, smoke and ash from a body that once belonged to you, I figures I’d tell you just how I feel and I plan on saying it once I find the strength to stand up.

 

Now the fire has burned out, ash is all that remains and I dry my tears and smile helplessly, because I know you should’ve told me to suck it up before you’d hug me. I miss that, you know, miss the moments of none-fighting, endless family times and I really wish you’d see me now for the man I am today.

 

I'm standing up, takes a deep breath and bending down to where the ash of your body is and I feel a hand on my lowe back that’s encourages me, a hand that belongs to a man we both love but in two complete different ways. He was the one who kept this family stable and whole and I whisper the words I know I should’ve said earlier but couldn’t. Now I’m doing it however but I know it’s too little, too late.

 

 

"Amo te, tata. Dimitte me de omnibus malis quae feci."

 

 

As I straighten myself up, blows slightly at the ash so the wind can catch you, I'm turning to bury my face in my brother's arms and he holds me just as tightly.

 

And I know, even if I failed this family by leaving, that he'll never hate me for my mistakes because I've learned from them. And as I feel the wind blows my hair, I know you feel the exact same thing.

 

We may be a little fucked up, but at least we all know just how deep the love goes for this family and I know this will take time, but as we leave the ash of you, I know you'll still somehow be here for us, watch out for us just the way you'd wished you'd been able to do before.

 

Now you've your chance. And believe me, the words are true. And I'm sorry I didn't find the courage and strength to say it earlier. I love you, goodbye.


End file.
